Have you ever wondered why you seem happier than most of the people you know, or sadder, madder, more afraid? We all have emotion addictions. It's pretty much impossible not to when you think about it. If a child is spoon fed an addictive substance every day of its' life, it is going to end up addicted to that substance. Emotions are highly addictive.
You can see, in the people around you, generations of workaholics, generations timidity, generations of anger. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so they say. With such a wide range of human emotions, the possibilities are numerous. Yes, there is a nature/nurture debate. Which emotions are innate and which are learned? Hard to tell, but I can assure you that there is some of both.
What kind of life do you live as an independent adult? How is it similar to the life in which you were raised? How is it different? This is an important distinction because we don't all become addicted to the emotions with which we are surrounded as children. Sometimes our rebellion takes over and we become addicted to the emotions that oppose the ones with which we grew up. Either way, once again, we become addicted to these emotions. We are always feeling emotions, even when we sleep. We can't help but become addicted to the ones that make us feel safe or satisfied. The danger here is that we may feel safe or satisfied in an abusive environment. If you were submerged in an abusive environment from a young age, it may be the norm to you, so you keep yourself in an abusive environment to feel safe. It would be so beneficial to the individual and society if we all innately rebelled against the negative emotion addiction and chose the positive emotion of which to become addicted. Alas, this is not the case.
I urge you now to take stock of your addictions, it doesn't really matter where they came from. Too much time can be wasted trying to figure out how you got into the position in which you currently find yourself and it serves no purpose to identify the source. It cannot be undone. If you identified the pusher that got your kid hooked on heroin and killed him, your kid would still be hooked on heroin. Just examine which emotions you feel most of the time. Do you have control over them, that is, if you feel sad often without sad circumstances, could you just decide to be happy instead? Or do you find your mind searching for a reason to be sad? Try it. If you cannot override the emotion, it may be an addiction. What are the negative emotions that pop up from time to time? Is it an addiction? Is it negative or serving you well? If you feel that your quality of life isn't the best, practice replacing the frequent negative emotions with more positive emotions. Identify the emotion (I'm feeling fearful again) then replace it with (there is nothing to fear, I will think of cute puppies jumping all over me).
Don't give up! It takes approximately sixty six days to develop a physical habit, such as eating a banana everyday. This may take more time, especially since it will not be a scheduled daily exercise. Take comfort in the marvels of the human mind. You may be stronger and smarter than you think. It is truly hard work, but you're worth it and so are the people in your life.
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